Seriously, the real world is a scary place.
How did it turn into a place where I don't feel safe being out alone at night? Even walking from my car to my front door feels dangerous sometimes. Really, I know it sounds ridiculous, but after the recent findings of two girls' bodies (well, one was a skeleton...), is it really that ridiculous?? How has north county suddenly become the home of the world's worst rapists/murderers, and why do I live here? It makes me feel ashamed to be a part of a society that allows these people to walk the streets. Yes they're "registered" on a public website, but we all know how efficient that's been (aka not). If you're a girl reading this, please please pleeeeease be careful and fight back! RIP Chelsea King & Amber Dubois.
Another scary thing about the real world is, well, having to grow up and survive in it. Since I was 11 and decided to be a teacher, everyone has always told me how luuucky I am to know exactly what I want to do when I grow up. It must just be sooo nice to be working towards a goal and know that when I'm out, Ill have a job! Well, thank you California budget for being crappy and shattering my dreams. Okay, slightly dramatic. BUT, there's some truth to it. I'm such a planner, and hate the unknown. So how has my future suddenly become the biggest mystery ever!? I have no idea what I'm going to do after I graduate on May 15. Sub for a year? Become an instructional aide? Work at the Tutoring Club? Work as a nanny? Move out? Live at home? And then what happens when I don't get a job in the first 5 years of my credential and it expires because I haven't completed BTSA? Why does BTSA even have to exist? Where do I get a job? Do I teach abroad? But what about my family? My friends? My boyfriend? Why is everyone getting married so young? Should I be? What if I'm not ready for that (which I'm TOTALLY not)?
I feel like I have to have everything figured out, but I have no possible way of doing that. I have no control over whether or not I get a job, because education is completely run by money (or lack thereof). I hate not knowing how things are gonna be in any part of my life next year. Or even 6 months from now. Sometimes the unknown is exciting...but right now all it's doing it stressing me out. Failure. Blaaaaaaaah why do I have to be an adult?
About Me
- Ms. M
- Welcome! I'm honored to announce that I am no longer a first year teacher, but officially a more experienced SECOND year teacher. However, it is my first year in fifth (hence the title of this blog). I am very excited, and very nervous, about teaching the "big kids". Read to find out my thoughts and reflections as I document my journey as a year two full-time teacher!
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